I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
