this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
