People with herpes should wear stickers.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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