she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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