SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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