So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
