You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
