You made me cry and you don't even care
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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