And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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