TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
