**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
