Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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