Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
