she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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