Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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