I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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