don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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