I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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