As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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