Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Dear god my vagina.
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