do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
