winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
