i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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