So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
