Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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