Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
