It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
