I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
oh god the rape fog is back!
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
