I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
