Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
