Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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