Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
