why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Define "chronic" masturbator.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
