i jhust puked up my retainher.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
