two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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