My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I have tasted many bathrooms
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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