rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
cat food counts as protein by the way
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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