If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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