i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
