I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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