I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
Iβm photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize