Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
