There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
