i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
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how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
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He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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