I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
