This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
