Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
where does the pee come out of this thing
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
