my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
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