weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
