Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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