I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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