Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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