covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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