Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
