I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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