The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Randomize
