I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
