1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
