Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
