just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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