I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
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