2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
one might say we're banned from that church
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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