Ambien. No doubt about it.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Randomize
