I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
