Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
